This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
