Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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