Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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