I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
