So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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