I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
