Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
