ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
