Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
