did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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