I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
