we're chasing vodka with high fives
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
