I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
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SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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