Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
