Betty ford says i'm here all night
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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