Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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