walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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