hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
