She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
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if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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