We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
