girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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