So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
