At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
