Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
