The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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