Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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