No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
