I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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