Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
