how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
