YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
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i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
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Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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