Define "chronic" masturbator.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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