I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
