At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
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I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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