Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Can you bring me the toilet please
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.