My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line