It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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