I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
