she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize