I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize