she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
