Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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