if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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