I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
