i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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