Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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