Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
