so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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