Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize