i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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