R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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