I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My penis needs a shock collar
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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