I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
