so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
