I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
