i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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