Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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