I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
