There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
